bringin’ it back

I’m bringing back the blog. I have moved it, and I have changed the name. Because the thing is, it’s not enough just to have a blog for your own sake and the entertainment of two or three friends. No, if you want to be taken seriously as a freelance writer you have to have a blog. It is, apparently, the one thing that is more important than anything else – grammar skills, an AP guide, most of the fingers on your left hand – none of that matters if you don’t have a blog. And then you have to monetize it. Monetize. Who used this word in conjunction with personal writing before this decade? People wrote all kinds of things–books, journals, epistles, manifestos–but it was paid or unpaid. Now it’s all like, proactive. And for the record, “proactive” is one of my most-hated words in the English language. (“Tender” is another. There are more, but we’ll save them for another time when I can’t think of anything else to write about).

So anyway. I had to rename the blog, because the old name, “Chocolate, Wine and Xanax” – well, it wasn’t something I could safely monetize. It was, however, a great SEO name. Do you know how many people searched for some combination of the words “chocolate, wine and xanax”? Let’s just say there are a a lot of people seeking third-party assistance out there. I was just a little worried that it could be taken out of context. And by “out of context” I mean, “cost me a job because someone thinks I’m nuts.” And not in a good way.

For the record, I’m no more nuts than you are.

Now, please excuse me while I go find the perfect look for my blog. I’m going to try on every WordPress theme I can find, which is almost more fun than shopping because my blog does not have an ass the size of a beach ball and everything looks good on it.

I love my blog already.

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