things that made me fat

No, this isn’t going to be some sort of soul-searching, release-your-inner-demons kind of blog. This is a list of the Top 10 foods that made me fat.

See, my good friend Beth recently blogged about cookies – but not really. I mean, the post wasn’t really about cookies. But it made me think that, as much as I love cookies, they’re not really what made me fat.

So then of course I had to wonder – if I’m going to assign blame to foods, which foods will it be?

1. Pizza. Totally a culprit here. Always has been. I love pizza like a fat kid loves – well, pizza. From too much Villa Pizza back in Vegas to too much Papa Gio’s here, and in between too much of other kinds of pizza that weren’t even worth getting fat over, there is pizza behind this ass.

2. Chinese food. I know what to order that’s healthy, but when I order the healthy stuff it’s like I feel deprived and end up eating all the white rice. If I get the house special lo mein I don’t care about the rice. Where’s the win there?

3. M&Ms. Totally PMS-related, but a bag of M&Ms even once a month will put some blubber on your gut.

4. Cold Stone. Do I need to elaborate?

5. Taco Bell. I know, I know. But it’s cheap! And delicious!

6. Cobb salads. How can a salad be such a work of evil? It can when it’s loaded down with bacon, egg, blue cheese and blue cheese dressing … my mouth is watering just reading this. We got into an unfortunate habit of ordering out from this Philly cheesesteak place that makes divine Cobb salads. Believe me, I’m very nutritionally aware and under no illusion that these salads are in any way more healthy than a cheesesteak. But I love, love, love them. Which brings me to my next downfall:

7. Blue cheese dressing. Seriously. I love it, I crave it, I would put it on anything. And it is the work of the devil.

8. Pretty much any snack food that finds its way into my house while I am on deadline and I can just grab with my left hand and eat mindlessly while working. Baked Pringles, pretzels, trail mix all come to mind. I’m a big-time stress eater, and I’d get into this mode where deadlines were easier to handle if I had one hand in a big mound of snack.

9. The Villiage Pub $6.99 steak special. Sadly a thing of the past both for me and for Las Vegas, but when I lived there and it was around, it was a too-regular part of my diet. And who can blame me? A 10-oz sirloin, potato, to-die-for garlic green beans, a salad AND a drink for $6.99? And of course the salad came with blue cheese. Bonus points when we went in a large group and ordered a carafe of wine and cheese sticks.

10. I’m torn on this one. I think it’s a tie between wine and french fries. I don’t eat french fries a lot, but I’m pretty sure I eat them more than I should (which would be NEVER). And wine is no beer, but it’s more likely to make me order french fries instead of a vegetable, or think eating my body weight in cereal is a good idea, or something like that.

So there you have it. Ten things other than myself I can blame for my being fat. Here’s to not taking responsibility – cheers!


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