this is why I always fly direct

I am currently in the middle of a three-hour layover in Los Angeles, between Palm Springs and home. This seems like a good time to share some random observations.
LAX is a really gross airport. Dirty, nasty, just generally unpleasant to spend any time in. I understand why airports are designed so much like shopping malls now, with people having to spend so much time in them. Orlando, for instance, is a really nice airport. Vegas isn’t bad either. Shanghai has a lot to do but is horrifically designed – huge banks of floor-to-ceiling windows that just let the afternoon sun come pouring in, so you’re always sweating your ass off in there, even in mid-winter. Palm Springs is funky, with all outdoor walkways, and a giant bust of Sonny Bono. I’ll have to post that picture when I get home.
Evil people get theirs in the end. Sometimes it takes a while, but what comes around goes around. Karma is a bitch.
It is almost physically impossible to diet while travelling. Something about it just tells your body “Our routine has changed. Consume food at will.” Plus, there are times when budgetary considerations outweigh dietary ones – if there is truly delicious free food available, you should eat it.
Along those same lines, anytime someone says “want to do an oyster shooter?” your answer should be “yes” with no hesitation or thought involved.
People. Are. Annoying
Men should never wear capris. Ever.
I get that the Bathroom People are all concerned about the security of our purses. But purposely taking down the hooks on the doors and providing those plastic purse caddies is NOT USEFUL in an airport, where I am unlikely to be carrying anything smaller than a laptop bag that is not going to fit in the stupid caddy, so I have to just set it on the floor. Thanks Bathroom People.
Someone needs to design a truly long-lasting and lightweight laptop battery, so I am not literally chained in place in front of the annoying family rudely eating tuna fish sandwiches in the airport.
Actually, tuna fish should be banned from all enclosed public places.
I can’t wait to get on the plane so I can take Nyquil and pass out for 6 hours.
The Concord should be re-introduced, subsidized and standard for all cross-country flights.
I need noise-cancelling headphones. If this kid cries “mommy” one more time in his annoying, pseudo-British accent, I will commit infanticide.


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